So, I finally made my colour decisions, but since then it's all been down hill...

I'll start at the beginning.

I went through all the tubes of seed beads I'd gathered and settled on the colours that I loved. I chose a cream, a peach, a warm grey and a colour that was a kind of mix of grey and peach. They were warm, subtle and inviting.

Then I remembered I planned to begin with a drop bead, as I had my recent Geometric Secret pieces, and that's where I came unstuck.

Of course I didn't have a drop bead to match. I rooted through all of my drops and the closest I had was a cream Magatama. But this was too fat for the point of the spire I wanted to create. So instead I used a small drop bead, but this was in a yellowy-brown.

Now here's where my mistake began. Instead of just using the drop bead and the colours I had chosen, I swapped colours.

I did it without thinking. Well, actually I did think. It was just that I thought "it won't matter" completely forgetting that when it comes to working in colours I don't like, I don't do well. For some reason my recent experience with the blue bracelet completely slipped my mind.

So I merrily put my head down and got started beading and all was well at first. Until the cold light of day this morning and I looked at what I had done. All I could think was "I hate it".

Unfortunately I am one of those people who struggle at first to look beyond the surface. Upon seeing my work this morning all I could see was the colour. It didn't matter to me one bit that this was a sample which never had to see the light of day. I just didn't fancy beading it today.

"No problem" I thought. "I'll work on my urban inspired piece".

Then I looked at that tray and all I could see was grey.

I looked out the patio doors and saw sunshine, flowers, green grass, pink camelias, blue sky...

I looked back at my tray and saw grey. I looked at the other tray and saw cream. I looked out the door again and knew neither of those projects were going to cut it for me today.

But here's the quandry. I need to get on with these projects (and I love them so need to get over myself and work on them) and I try never to allow myself to begin a new project when I have important ones to finish.

That makes sense right? Except what always happens with me is that I neither start a new project, nor work on the problem one, with the end result being no beading gets done.

That's a lose-lose situation.

You think I would learn.

But instead I spend the day feeling contrary and out of sorts and wind up doing non-beading bead-related work such as answering emails and drawing diagrams. All sitting inside working on the computer when I could have been kind to myself, begun a new project with bright coloured beads and sat outside and beaded.

One day I'll learn that some days you just have to mark up to being gentle on yourself and go with the flow.

Still I can't complain, at 3pm I sneaked off for an hour or so to listen to Alex Kammerling (of Kammerlings) talk about his ginseng spirit and tempt us with some tasters.

So I got to sit in the lovely 69 Colebrooke Row for an hour, try the spirit in different drinks (tiny sampling drops of each of course- this was a Monday afternoon! My favourite was an Adam and Eve:  Kammerling and grapefruit and lychee juice over ice) wander around London for a few minutes in the sun and return home refreshed and re-inspired.

Of course I came straight home and began this blog. As I began to write my mind was taken with trying to define the mood I am in. I originally thought it was "contrary" but now I'm not sure. How do you define a mood? Looking up definitions for contrary give me results which seem much stronger than what I am feeling. But I suppose that is it. I want to bead today but I don't want to bead.

Or is it I just don't want to bead in grey and cream?

Maybe I should root out some bright beads and see what I come up with.

Anyway, Googling moods and Alex Kammerling, as well as checking forums and filling time in other ways, (all so as not to have to decide whether or not to bead), has given me some interesting results, and as someone who is always looking for good procrastination diversions, I kindly share them with you here:

• Someone else's post about feeling contrary
• A great film on making butter
• Some of Alex Kammerling's likes and dislikes
• A fun food blog I read

I have just realised the latest post on that blog is called "Quite Contrary" and I read it last night. That'll teach me for browsing the internet before I try and sleep!