I am still working away on a necklace version of my recent bangles and I have realised now why I am finding it so hard. I just don't like the colour.

I LOVE the pewter seed beads and the design I am using, but it is the light blue crystals that I can't stand. I find them so insipid that I am struggling with them.

When ordering the crystals I had a limited choice of colours to choose from. None of my first choices were available in the size and shape I wanted and this one, Indicolite, seemed ok on the colour chart. But when it arrived it was so disappointing.

I love teal and turquoise, royal blue and cobalt but bland, wishy-washy light blue? Nope, not for me.

I recently wrote of my dislike of blue on my Colour Challenge blog so maybe my subconscious was choosing it as a challenge to see if I could use it and stick with it? If so, it must really hate me!

For that piece using blues (still unfinished of course) I added all the blues I do like, along with black and gold. But for this one I am stuck with the blue. I literally have no other beads in the same shape and size to add in.

Add to this my annoyance at myself for choosing a colour I knew from the start I wouldn't be happy with, and the result is everytime I pick this up to add more I get annoyed and feel ill at the colour.

I have no idea why the idea of bland makes me feel ill but it does. I struggle with bland in my life and always strive to add extra colour, taste and volume.

I do this with my beadwork, the food and drink I consume and the clothes I wear. You can see an example of my colour co-ordination with regard to clothes in this photo from Kate McKinnon.

That's me, sneaking in the background, with my green shoes and patterned dress. (Whilst you're there, check out the rest of Kate's great photos- she manages to capture images, colours and expressions I can only dream about).

When eating, I choose flavour and spices and love to add sea-salt. When beading, I add contrast and extremes and when drinking I add bitters- especially to fizzy water. This is my current favourite drink and my bitters stash is beginning to run dangerously low.

I like my coffee black, strong and bitter. My chocolate at least 90% cocoa and my chilli with extra cheese.

Bland is not my first choice in anything. The thought of a plain baked potato makes me feel ill. Plain poached fish- no way. Neither of these would I choose to eat without added flavour and thinking about it, I realise that's actually what I find so hard- the absense of choice.

Some days a baked potato is the perfect thing. But when you yearn for spice and heat, it just doesn't hit the spot.

I experienced the same feelings back when beading Geometric 1-8-1.

At the time it was hard to get size 15 Delicas in a range of colours here so I was stuck with the grey. How I yearned to add a splash of colour, but no such luck.

As time went on I found it harder and harder to bead the piece. I made many mistakes and ended up beading, undoing and beading the whole thing probably three times over. All due to feeling limited by colour.

Now when I look at the piece I can't judge whether or not I like it as it is imbued with the thoughts I had whilst making it.

So maybe that's what I don't like and am feeling? I hate being constrained by outside forces beyond my control and in my twisted mind this blue is doing just that to me. It's not my first choice, and wouldn't even be my 2nd, 3rd or 4th choice but I'm stuck with it.

I am the same in other areas of my life.

I love curling up in bed, but when younger being made to go to bed was the worst punishment.

I love looking through my wardrobe to choose what to wear but being limited by size, weather or the occasion all make me unhappy.

I love reading all manner of books, newspapers, magazines, pamphlets, leaflets and backs of cereal packets. But as soon as I am stuck on a train with just one book or paper, and not the huge library of options I often carry with me, and whatever I have is the last thing I want to look at.

Basically I like any choice, as long as it's one I have made.

Give me the option of A or B and I am delighted with either. I am actually quite easy-going and easily-pleased.

But, only show me option A and it's guaranteed I'll want C!

So, maybe I do actually like this blue, just not when it's the only one I have.

On any other occasion I would choose it and use it. But when there's no choice I'm sitting there thinking "I wish I was using green".

Usually when I work I start out with one colour set, range of beads and idea, but by the time it's finished the piece can have taken many turns. It's these I love.

I like to work on a piece, adding ideas, colours and beads, until it feels right and with this piece I can't do that. I am restrained by the beads and beading it feels like a chore I really don't want to do.

Usually these types of chores we avoid and postpone but, as I am a good girl, I don't feel I can move onto any other beading until this is done and so I begrudge it even more. Not only is the blue stopping me enjoying this piece, it's stopping me from moving on and having fun with another piece.

The solution; I need to knuckle down and get this piece done!

As soon as it's finished I can indulge in flights of fancy with any colour I choose. Explore new shapes and structures. Begin beading that spire I've had in mind for months. Those will be my reward for finshing this piece and the sooner I do so the sooner I can have fun again.

Now, don't let me get started on how badly I can deal with too much choice!