I am very excited to be having an exhibition of my work in the lovely shop StitchnCraft Beads near Shaftesbury this February. So my main job of the day is to pack up some beadwork and get it to the shop.

It had never occured to me, until Kate McKinnon pointed it out, that I still own almost every piece of beadwork I have ever made. I very, very, very rarely sell any of it and even more rarely given it away. As I pondered in a previous blog there are many reasons behind it and over the past couple of weeks, and when packing my work up today, I have thought some more about it.

A lot of the time it's that my beadwork is done for a specific reason, whether that's a magazine or book project, class sample or competition piece. It's very rare I bead for any other reason than I have to. I can go days, weeks and even months without picking up beads. I used to bead a lot more when it was a break from my work, but since it has become my 'work' I find it hard to bead anything without thinking 'How will I write this down?', 'How on earth will I do a diagram to show this?' and especially 'Is this worth writing up or explaining?'. Putting all those conditions, clauses, requirements and catches on their work before they even pick up a needle would be enough to stop anyone doing so, and for me, often it is.

I am very aware that this is not good and I need to give myself more time to experiment, play and simply enjoy beading. When I did this last February I came up with two items (Affinity Bangles and Jaipur Jewels) which I'm really proud of, so imagine just what I could do if I let myself do that more.

Also beading more regularly will hopefully deal with an issue I have noticed happen to me over the past year or so: that of the 'did I dream it?' beadwork. I find that I work so close to my deadlines that almost as soon as a piece is done it has to be packed up and posted and I may not see it again for easily 9-12 months. I'm starting to find it sad to spend so much time working away on a piece, or pieces, (140+ hours for my last necklace) with all that time, thought, blood, sweat and tears etc only to have them immediately gone from my life without a moment to sit and enjoy them. No time to contemplate them and work on adaptions in conjunction with the original piece.

That may sound crazy and it's making me wonder why on earth I have such an emotional attachment to these physical items. To me it's partly that they serve as memory holders: I can look at them and have each one serve as a memento of my life. Just holding them reminds me of where I was when I had the idea, and all the places I sat as I beaded the piece. The beads may chart travels and excursions, the colours I use often reflect a feeling or a theme I was working on or things which were influencing me.

But I also feel they chart my accomplishments and no matter what else is going on in my life, or how I feel about myself, I have these small items which I can hold up to the world and say 'I made that'.

So, small treasures and memory holders packed, it was time to head off. I slept most of the way, just opening my eyes to wave to Stone Henge, and in what seemed like no time we were at the shop. I dropped off my work and then we drove into Shaftesbury itself for some fresh air and sight-seeing.

Last time I was here I didn't walk Gold Hill but this time my footwear was more sensible so we braved the slope. All the while I took photos, and not just as an excuse to stop for a rest.

I'm still using my scary camera, and still experimenting with settings. Just as soon as I get a chance I'll sit down with a photography book and educate myself as to just what those settings mean.

If you get a chance to visit the shop during February I hope you enjoy seeing my work.